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Old 07-20-2011, 06:50 AM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 10,083

Originally Posted by sage View Post
. . . one of the first things that struck me was a commentary on adultery. I find it really, really hard to get past this when it comes to polyamory and Christianity.
I wouldn't ever see polyamory, with its emphasis on honesty, communication, and openness, and being so much (much!) more than sex, as anything even remotely like adultery! The word "adultery" just makes me think of illicit, secret sexual liaisons, to satisfy very base desires and coveting what someone else has.

Christianity is supposed to be about love, and so is polyamory. Perhaps you're having a problem with the sexual aspect of multiple relationships? I have heard that the Torah has no pronouncement against adultery, I wonder if that is true. The fact remains that there are so many contradictions in the Bible, and its writings can be interpreted numerous ways -- it is easy to get confused and twist yourself into knots trying to understand it. My mother used to torture herself over specific verses trying to decipher their meanings and how to apply them to her life -- to the point where our pastor actually advised her to stop reading the Bible!

I would suggest that this is the source of your unrest, and I have my doubts that the Bible can help you here:
Originally Posted by sage View Post
My problems are around depth of relationship and feeling. There is something disturbing for me in being totally invested emotionally when my partner is not because he also loves someone else.
It sounds like your issue surrounds doubting your partner's ability to love one than one as deeply as you love him. That's big, "challenging old beliefs" kind of stuff.
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia

Click here for a Solo Poly view on hierarchical relationships
Click here to find out why the Polyamorous Misanthrope is feeling disgusted.

Last edited by nycindie; 07-20-2011 at 06:57 AM.
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