Thanks SN. Surprisingly even having this discussion on the forum is upsetting me again. I'll go and dig my bible out of the basement and check out Romans. I bought a very large bible a number of years ago, which I keep trying to get rid of and it keeps coming back to me. I shifted it down to the basement when I got into trouble for randomly pulling out quotes. I gave it to my mother when I really went off it but she kept it knowing that I would one day want it back, and I did. I think I have a really confused and difficult relationship with Christianity and the bible.
The "be as little children" I hadn't thought of in relation to polyamory, because seriously committed adult love relationships aren't something that a child experiences. I think of it more in their ability to live in the present.