Update: we've been working very extensively together. There is still a lot to sort out. But for the most part, they finally understand not only that they hurt me, but why it hurt, and how harsh it was.
The acknowledge what they did to me was more than unfair.
And how they treated me afterward was poor, to put it mildly.
So there is no more swinging, no more playing, no more comforting other women in a sexual manner.
I repeat: no more swinging. I called a halt to it, they said "okay" and since then, they have not done anything.
When the couple that cheated with my couple (and the same couple whose female was comforted by my male in a sexual manner when she felt nervous one night) came over for dinner, there was a long discussion about what the 4 of them did, what they chose to do, and how it affected me.
Also, there are some new rules and boundries:
1.) keep me in the loop.
2.) no swinging, no lifestyle, no play, no flirting
3.) no one talks about me behind my back,ever again. If the female of the other couple had questions about me, she will be told to contact me. This includes questions like "is she mad at me?"
Back to the workshop