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Old 07-19-2011, 06:03 PM
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alwaysdancing alwaysdancing is offline
New Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: CA
Posts: 3
Talking Poly and Lovin' it!

Hello all you fabulous open minded people!

I'm a 24 yr old bi-sensual female that's the V in a triad. I live on the California coast, and am a working professional. I always knew I was poly, even when I didn't have the words for it. In the last 3 years I've come to grasp with my sexuality and reunite it with love, or at least, respect, communication, and honesty. I went from relationship to relationship, without really every asking myself what I wanted. Two years ago, I swore never again to be in a committed relationship with someone that I wasn't 100% about, and frankly I wasn't too hopeful about that happening. Yet, sooner than I thought possible, I am in my first truly honest, open AND committed relationship.

I feel so lucky to have met my primary. I'll call him Pookie, since he is pretty much like a teddy bear. Classically handsome, talented, dedicated, he won my heart by attrition, just by being himself. He was truly innocent when we started hanging out, in the way only previously deeply religious person can be. While he initially was very mono, through some personal experiences (and my truly excellent sexual training ), he became poly-minded. It's allowed him to explore interactions with the opposite sex with me as a mentor, without the desperation of the sexless making him stupid. For both of us, it isn't about just fucking around, it's about being free to genuinely care for other people in our lives, and if we feel comfortable AND ARE SAFE, be close to them physically as well. Pookie and I have been together over a year now, and going strong.

The other arm of our V is JT, who is in his early 40's. Previously divorced, he knows first hand the importance honesty, trust and communication in a relationship. He has a wonderful young daughter and is not looking for anyone else to add to his life. We've been dating for about 4 months.

We're still new to this. None of us have been in a poly relationship before, which can be both good AND bad. We talk a lot about the concept and how we're applying it, and have a full disclosure policy. I feel so lucky because I didn't have to dig through years of relationship issues with Pookie to get him to open up to the poly mindset. I was completely honest about Pookie with JT before we got involved, and have kept up that habit through some painful mistakes. After JT's dishonest previous marriage, being able to count on complete honesty has been a pleasant shock to him.
I'm very happy that all of us came in to our relationships completely aware that they were going to be poly, so we didn't have to deal with any of the trauma, re evaluation of relationship standards, etc when the "I think I'm poly" bomb got dropped part way through a relationship.

I've been a long time lurker, and have both Pookie and JT reading this forum as well. I came here to read others stories, their mistakes and triumphs, and learn what I need to do to nurture these relationships and help them grow. I feel so happy to be in a poly relationship!
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