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Old 07-19-2011, 04:39 PM
lovinhimloviner lovinhimloviner is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 104
Default Mono GF having problems dealing.....

My husband and I are still relatively new to Polyamory. We have been in this life for about a year and I am very happy. We have a large family, my husband our 4 kids and my OSO J all live together. My H OSO M comes over often or they go out at least 5 nights out of the week. We are all dealing with the new situation and a new house as we have just moved. I have this problem of worrying about everyone. I know H and I are fine and I know J and I are fine. M is a mono who has a Christian mom. Because we live in such a small town everyone learns things about you even if you try to keep it to yourself. We go to the kids ballgames together and to the gas stations and stores together. It is not uncommon for the people at the gas station to see H and M together more than me and H. They like to get out of the house and do all the running and j and I like to sit at home with the kids. Anyway long story short someone who works with her mom put two and two together and told her mom why she has been so happy. Her mom cornered her and started screaming at her about how she is ruining my kidís life and our marriage. This combined with the fact that all of her friends have found out and not just disagreed with her decision but has made it their life mission to try and ruin her life and make her feel like a huge pile of crap, she is not dealing with things well. I know it isnít my place to try to fix any of this but I need to help somehow.
Is there any monos out there who have dealt with pretty much loosing everyone you thought cared about you for someone that you love sooo very much and donít want to lose? Was there anything that helped you deal with all of this?
I know she wants to get married and have kids someday and I feel like I am blocking her happiness by being married to him first. I will never leave my husband for any reason but I would be willing to sign a paper saying that we are no longer married so that she can have all of her dreams come true too. I feel like I am going crazy and I donít know how to not want to fix things.
Our kids are happy and love J and M like they are family. I know they are not ruined because of our lifestyle but I donít know how to try and get others to understand. Any suggestions will help guys. Thanks
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