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Old 07-19-2011, 04:21 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Okay, let's get this straight. Here's how I understand the situation:

JT2 is male, his partner is male. They are involved both romantically and in business together, and have been in this relationship for ten years. JT2's partner is married to a woman who is primary to him; JT2 is his partner's secondary, though they spend lots of time together. JT2 is not involved with his partner's wife, other than being metamours. It sounds like they all live together, though I'm not sure. So, this is a MMF Vee.

The wife has issues about not getting enough attention and this (neediness?) has encroached upon her husband's business. JT2's partner has asked JT2 to help find ways to make his wife feel more like the primary.

Again, as I posted earlier, JT2's partner and his wife are having problems in their relationship and JT2's partner wants help from JT2 on how to fix it.

So, I am wondering if that's really fair to ask one leg of a vee to help placate the other -- or does the longevity of this vee make a difference here? JT2 hasn't indicated what kind of relationship or rapport he has with his metamour.
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An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-im-not-a-secondary-partner-the-short-version/

Last edited by nycindie; 07-19-2011 at 04:27 PM.
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