Originally Posted by nycindie
But, see, that doesn't even sound like BDSM to me. That just sounds like the normal playful interactions a couple engages in day-to-day. Lots of people give each other a fun smack on the butt when one of them's bending over; it doesn't mean they're into BDSM.
BDSM isn't all about sex for everyone. For me it's about the power exchange, and you can't "see" that from an external standpoint. The smack on the butt might be normal interaction for some people, but I know when my husband does it to demonstrate his dominance, and I can tell the difference when he's just doing it for fun.
If I've learned one thing, it's that BDSM means different things for EVERYONE.