RedPepper summed up my point well.
Going out now to pursue a 30 year old woman is not going to get you too far. Either you will get an immature brat of a girl who got older, or you will fail, because mature women in their 30s (or any age) want mature men.
No offense intended-but the first post I ever read from you I guessed you at barely 20 and then after reading a few more confirmed you were YOUNG. That's not a bad thing-we all are young at some point in our lives.
I had a rough life in many ways too-but the truth is that having "street smarts" from being treated like crap as a child does not a great partner make.
If you want to attract a great partner, first you have to know how to TRULY BE a great partner.
That means being able to see through the bs to what their hurts/weaknesses/strengths are so that you can promote their strengths and protect their weak spots and help guard them while they heal their hurts.
If you can't see it-then you can't do it and if you can't do that you can't be a great partner and if you can't be a great partner, you can't GET a great partner either without SERIOUS dumb luck-which is rare.
"Love As Thou Wilt"