Originally Posted by Anneintherain
I also would have only been mad at my boyfriend, and not his wife, in this situation. Nobody said he had to read or respond to the texts, and even though you have problems with what is going on with the current rules and all, it doesn't seem fair to blame her for his behavior.
The fact that you told him it had to stop and he didn't get texts the last time seems to me that his wife is respectful of this, and it either 1. didn't occur to her that it was a problem because you didn't mention it to bf earlier and let him know it was a problem for YOU or 2. she assumed he wouldnt be enough of a ninny to answer if he was busy being intimate with you.
I hope you all are able to keep finding new comfort levels with the explicit permission for being sexual though. Don't be afraid to ask to renegotiate the things that are bugging you, although if you do get to see each other for sex once a week, I am a bit confused about how he has to ask permission to have sex with you, and can't if he hasn't asked, since it's a set sex date night?
It's never a set day during the week. Just depends on everyone's schedules. They come over here often (like their second home) and we do the same. There are often times he comes over alone for whatever reason and in those cases when things spontaneously began they had to ABRUPTLY stop. We can have oral sex as much as we want but penetration is just once a week.
I had mentioned the texting thing to boyfriend months before we had the blow up. That time I had gently said something like what is up with the texting constantly. What is going on? He was very short with me and just said that he had told her at one time she could text him anytime and he would answer no matter what. I just let it go because I thought that was lame and didnt want to argue. Months LATER when he and I were arguing and he stopped talking to me to answer the infamous "text about sheets" is when I finally exploded about it. He did tell me after that, that he had discussed it with her and when I asked what she said he got a very uncomfortable look on his face and I just said NEVERMIND if your that uncomfortable telling me what she said I probably don't want to know. sigh. I suppose they discussed it furthe, days later because it was then when he came over and she wasnt texting him like crazy anymore. As far as her not realizing that the texting was a problem I doubt that. Reason being is that this was her exact way in the beginning that she would blow up our night. Meaning he would ask to come over, she would say fine, then he would get here and the texting and trying to guilt him home would start. This went on for a while. It's better now though. Please also understand she has permission to do whatever she wants AT ANY TIME however she chooses. When she is "playing" she has zero rules really. ZERO. This whole rule thing began with her hubby and I.