Zerodrakken, have you sought partners online at all? Cons are all very well but you are a shy guy and it sounds like getting to know someone online might be much easier for you up front. Okcupid is a great site and if you aren't fixated on finding only local partners (since you sound like you live in an area where there might not be many), you might have very good luck there at making new connections.
Also, I'm going to let you in on a little secret.
There are plenty of straight married poly women and we are the wallflowers at the party, from what I have heard and experienced.
I cannot tell you how many times a guy like you with a bisexual wife or girlfriend has wasted my time getting to know me and then, just as I think we are starting a relationship, I get some version of "Ooops, you are neither bisexual or single, never mind!"
Five years poly here in one of the poly hotbeds of the U.S., actively looking the entire time, and have found exactly TWO poly men to date in that five years. Lost number 1 after two years together when his domme got jealous and made him end it, lost number 2 when he decided he wasn't poly after all. At present I have the beginnings of a LDR with someone halfway across the country, and my dear husband, and that is it. I'm smart and cute and loving and a fabulous girlfriend and my husband is the greatest male metamour ever. I can find any amount of casual sex with very attractive monos, but finding an intelligent, loving, attractive poly guy who will actually date a straight married woman, and who doesn't already have three girlfriends...well, I can dream, I guess.
Forget about finding unicorn number 2 and forget about single, and go find someone like me. Trust me, our dance cards aren't full.
Last edited by gwendolenthefair; 07-18-2011 at 01:27 PM.