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Old 10-19-2009, 01:50 AM
peripheral peripheral is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 4
Default not sure if this relationship is healthy

A year ago I started seeing a guy who is in a long-term polyamorous relationship with his gf. They live together.

I never felt like his gf was entirely comfortable with the situation. Recently I got a chance to spend a lot of time alone with her and I am now even more convinced that this is true.

They have both been honest with me, separately, about the sexual problems in their relationship, i.e., the lack of sex. He always wants it, she rejects him constantly. She has expressed the fear that I am giving something she will not- intimacy via physical affection.

She also told me things that countered what he has said; for instance, he has stated that he's never felt uncomfortable or jealous of the few times she has dated others. Yet she told me stories of those times.

At first I was thrilled to bond with her, as I'd always felt like she didn't really like me. Now I just feel conflicted, and guilty. She didn't come right out and say it, but I really believe she'd rather be monogamous with him.

I also really want to ask him about some of the things she told me, but I feel like I would be betraying a trust.
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