I also would have only been mad at my boyfriend, and not his wife, in this situation. Nobody said he had to read or respond to the texts, and even though you have problems with what is going on with the current rules and all, it doesn't seem fair to blame her for his behavior.
The fact that you told him it had to stop and he didn't get texts the last time seems to me that his wife is respectful of this, and it either 1. didn't occur to her that it was a problem because you didn't mention it to bf earlier and let him know it was a problem for YOU or 2. she assumed he wouldnt be enough of a ninny to answer if he was busy being intimate with you.
I hope you all are able to keep finding new comfort levels with the explicit permission for being sexual though. Don't be afraid to ask to renegotiate the things that are bugging you, although if you do get to see each other for sex once a week, I am a bit confused about how he has to ask permission to have sex with you, and can't if he hasn't asked, since it's a set sex date night?
Happiness will never come to those who fail to appreciate what they already have.