Okay, kind of a funny situation, but I thought someone may have encountered it before and could lend a little sage advice.
I have two girlfriends. One of these I live with, and one I do not. The second, who I will call Sue, comes over fairly often for an evening, a weekend, whatever. Now, I have a cat, who we shall call Waffle (God forbid she should read this and get mad!
). Waffle does not care for Sue. I have a lot of friends who come over regularly, and while Waffle is not the jump-up-in-their-laps type of kitty, she'll at least walk around, brushing against legs and being somewhat social. She never scratches, never bites, she's never mean. If she's upset, she tends to just go upstairs and hide. But when Sue comes around, Waffle will stand out in the open and hiss at her, give her angry mrows, and sometimes make those weird noises cats make that don't really sound like cat noises. Sue smokes, and me and my live-in girl Pam suspect the scent might remind Waffle of Pam's mother, a heavy smoker and Waffle's arch-nemesis. We don't really have many smoker friends so this could be true. Pam, however, has suggested an alternative: Waffle is poly and considers me her mate.
Okay, hear me out here.
Waffle was my "secondary." I was with Pam when Waffle wandered up to the house, started sleeping under my car, and eventually got adopted. Waffle knew from the start that I was with Pam and that she was the new one in the relationship. Now Ive brought in a third female and didn't even bother to ask her about it, so she's mad. My friends are fine, of course, but now there's someone in here I'm having sex with that isn't Pam? She's annoyed.
See, Waffle is mine and Pam's cat, but really, she's mine. I'm her favorite. She wants my lap, wants me to feed her, wants me to pet her. This is not disputed. And Pam thinks that Waffle now feels Sue is a potential rival for my affection. Is there any way that could be true?
It's sort of a silly problem to have, but it's kind of important, too! My kitty is important to me, but so are my girls. I need everyone getting along fine. So how do I make kitty happy??