It's so nice to have a place to come and ask questions. AHHHHHHHHH so nice.
The once a week thing is only for sex. I see him nearly every day. We can only have sex once a week per his wife.
Yes we have more rules than I like. This is why.
This started out as a strictly swinging relationship. His wife had issues from the start though.
Each time she would exhibit behavior that made me think she was uncomfortable with he and I (i.e. texting the whole time he is there, asking when are you coming home, changing social media statuses to things like "home all by my lonesome") first he would talk to her about it and she would claim to not have an issue and would blame it on something unrelated.
I finally decided to have a sit down talk with her about a month into this (things were NOT serious with he and I at that point) and I explained why I thought she was uncomfortable and told her I would end things immediately if she was not comfy with me for whatever reason. I did not want to cause an uproar. She even said to me she really was fine and blamed it on everything under the sun except being uncomfortable.
Fast forward three months later, a huge blowup ensued between the two of them and she told him she wanted him to end it. This did NOT go over well because for the three to four months during this NO MATTER WHAT we did she continued to say she was fine with everything....then it turned into a relationship.....that at that point she wanted to end. After a huge long discussion she agreed that she would TRY to accept the relationship that had grown but that she was not sure she could and that we had to STOP having sex.
We were allowed to talk and still see each other but NO sex. This was hard. This went on for six weeks. I was angry that I opened myself up to this relationship with him for her to back track and say "well I was never okay....even though I said I was."
I nearly walked away during that time. It was very difficult but the relationship he and I had was important and he and my hubby had become pretty good friends.
She eventually said we could start having sex again but only once a week. We have stuck to that....and I don't like it but my feelings for him and our relationship was more important so I just deal with it.
We all hang out in a group setting and this works well. She and I get along fairly well considering.
I told him that the texting thing had to stop and the last time he came over she didn't text him while he was here.
We have had many bumps in this road and I am sure we will have more. The BF really does mean well but I think he is just as confused as I am. She says she's okay with he and I but I just don't know.