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Old 07-17-2011, 07:11 PM
ClariceK ClariceK is offline
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 32

My husband and I lived with my mother for quite some time in the beginning of ur relationship. My mom and I have always been very close but it has also been a unhealthy closeness in that I was way to connected to her and had a hard time not telling her about every single aspect of my life. I told her about my husband (boyfriend at the time) and my going to "swingers clubs" which she called "sex clubs" and honestly in a way my mom being supportive but uncomfortable worked out. She would always ask me and my husband where we were going and we would say "the sex club" and she would say "I dont want to know, just go!!" and that stopped the "where you going,? When will you be home?" questions and actually helped us to not be annoyed by those questions.

When we first moved NT and TT (her daughter) into the house I felt the need to tell my mom as since she isnt in the same state she does visit a few times a year and I felt she needed to know rather then be surprised by this. I was worried as when I was younger she was much more against the idea but I think that had more to do with her own experiences as a wife of a husband who cheated on her and treated her like crap (my father) so the idea that I would "let another woman that close to your mans penis" as she put it, was just ridiculous, unsafe for the marriage and asking for me to be left when he finds he likes someone else more then me. I have come to learn that he doesn't love them MORE he loves them TOO!!

My mom has met the LG (little girl) when I brought her out for the day with my mom and my sister when they visited last. I thought this would be a good way to introduce my family to my family. It enabled my mom to be around my "step daughter" if you will, with my mom and sister knowing who she was, that she was not my husbands daughter. Ok, Ok I admit it, I figured the cute kid would win her over before I brought Natasha to meet them. My mom loved the LG and actually told me that I needed to not be so freaked out about the possibility of getting hurt. I was making the LG stay right by me, and she wanted to run up and down the steps of a gazebo in a park. My mom said let her do it, I said but she might fall and hurt herself, my mom said "well then we will deal with that, but you cant make her be a perfect little sit next to you all the time kid or she will think your mean. I have loosened up and while I still find it hard to trust myself and my ability to handle all the "what ifs" that come up. What if she jumps on the bed and hits her head on the wall and then gets a concussion that causes bleeding on her brain and I dont notice it cause I dont have experience with medical or kid stuff. My mom said "Don't worry, if she is bleeding onto her brain you will probably see blood coming out her ears" my mom said this as a dont worry statement, but that made me worry even more (and check the LG ears anytime she even mildly bumps her head) but I have found that little kids are a pretty hardy species of human. They seem to be able to take a few more bumps and bruises then the larger older models.

I think that if you think your family can handle it, then tell them, if they bother you about where you are going, try my "the sex club" response and see if ti also gets you out of the 20 questions, and if you dont think they would understand, then maybe it is best to just leave it be. My hubby was very against anyone knowing in his family until his mom passed away. For some reason, the possibility of her knowing about his lifestyle scared him so he was very closed about it to his family. Next month his younger sister is coming to FL to visit, and she is going to meet Trustynatasha and LG and I have concerns that she is going to feel very "sideswiped" about it because it isnt like he even mentioned "Oh yeah we sleep with other women" and while she is an adult in her own adult relationship, i am sure it will be a experience that is awkward at first but hopefully it is not so awkward that his relationship with her suffers as that is the last thing I want.
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