HUGS to both ID and TA!
I seriously suggest a marriage councelor. I understand the desire for autonomy, but sometimes that desire comes from a place of hopelessnes (can't see any other workable option). The councelor can help both parties see the little things you both are doing that eats away at your relationship. Even a few small changes sometimes the feeling of hopelessness/desperation can go away and you can start building a new relationship between you both.
TA, it takes time to break out of past habits and she will need to be reminded if she is slipping into past behavior and reminded how it effects you.
ID, I've gone through the rollercoaster of we are great, everything is wonderful to I want a divorce quite a few times since we started to repair our marriage. It's like once you pass a certain point, the pendulum can pick up speed and the emotional swings can be much more drastic in both directions.
Last edited by SNeacail; 07-17-2011 at 05:53 PM.