I am open first, poly second. I date, enjoy dating and do it because I want to. I don't believe i will love everyone, and don't believe I fall in love easily. So I need to get to know a person well. Being friends and getting to know someone is one way. Dating and flirting is another. Fucking the first date.. can also work (I married my one night stand)
Poly is non-monogamy with the capacity to romantically love more than one person. Thats it, the relationship stuff comes in many variations.
Also avoid the traps of comparing your "successes". Its an immediate was to start thinking negatively which WILL directly impact chances for meeting people. You wife is having a bunch of fun, temp successes and.. likely learning from it. Once its realized that there is limited time in a day.. things should hopefully settle.
It sounds like you are at the new and shiny stage. That does pass and people fall in line with relationships their schedule allows.
Best of luck..