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Old 07-16-2011, 03:04 AM
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openbj openbj is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: OK, USA (but our hearts remain in TX)
Posts: 102

Sorry, little bit about the girl that wants to be his girlfriend. Even if we did bring her in, it would likely be just a short term thing. She is going off to college and is quite a bit younger than us. The only connection, is that she and hubby enjoy talking and are really attracted to one another. But, that's it. It's mostly a physical thing at this point. Maybe it would be a good first try at being poly? I know poly is about love and being united in that, but with all of my jealousy issues that I'm working on overcoming, maybe a surface level relationship is good for the first time? Hubby doesn't really expect her to be interested that much longer. He really feels that she'll get to college, around others her own age, and grow bored of him lol. If we move within OK for that job, we'll only be about an hour away from her, which is still distance and he doesn't think she'll really be up to traveling it much. He'll be super busy with the new job, on the road a lot, so there won't be much time for any distance in a relationship. If we move to NM for that job, it won't last. We both already know that. She does know about both of the job offers.

He's really worried about inviting her in though. He says she's actually a very conservative person and like I said earlier, he's scared of explaining. So, for the time being, I have given him permission to see her without being "brought in" completely and just let them ride this wave. But we have talked and agreed that if things do get deeper and go further, then she is to be told before there are real emotional attachments and invite her in if that is what she is open to. If she's not, then it ends there. He really doesn't see it going deeper though. He is kind of her rebound crush right now and there are too many other variables that will lead to them being drawn apart.

He did invite her to be friends on FB, she accepted (that happened today). Hubby and I play around and flirt A LOT on there (our friends have told us to get a room on more than one occasion lol), so she will see that. I think that's his subtle way of breaking the ice for future discussions with her if it goes there lol and a way for her to "meet" me without actually meeting me.
Married 12 1/2 years. Female. Straight. New to poly.
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