Hello, First Post
My name is Sean. I am in a relationship with a girl who I have known since I was 7 years old and we lived across the street from one another (The relationship has only developed within the last 3 years). I am now 21. We are both very committed to each other and feel that we are in love with one another. We live together and have lived together for the past 2 years. Her name is (We will call her Suzanna for now).
She is currently in California doing an internship of sorts and is looking to go into the medical field when she graduates. I recently graduated and have a job as a graphic designer at a local ad agency.
Recently we have both begun to talk about the idea of polyamory. I feel we are both on the same page, and I think that it would be a choice in our lives that we both believe in and feel is right for us. We haven't had much time to discuss it on a personal level, because we decided to wait to do it face to face with her being in California. I am going to visit her at the end of this month.
At that point we are going to have our first real, deep and meaningful conversation about how we want our life to go forward, what kind of restrictions we feel, and in general how we want to define our relationship that works for us. I am not looking for validation (although I appreciate the community wanting to support each other) instead I am I guess in a way looking for someone to tell me about their first conversation about changing an existing relationship dynamic to a polyamory one. What pitfalls happened, what did you forget to talk about, what would you change, what are you glad you said? etc. This doesn't mean I am not interested in other things people want to say, but simply that is what I am looking for.
I recently read the book Opening Up on the subject, and feel I have a better grasp of different terminology but please be aware I have never been in this kind of relationship before and so I may ask you to be more specific (or simply explain the meaning) if you use terms I have not heard before.
I have a vague idea of the relationship I am looking for and I guess I will describe it somewhat as I feel it out, but I am open to new ideas and nothing past this is in stone.
I feel I would be most comfortable in a 'tri' relationship but would be open to 'four' but I do not think I want to (yet if ever) be in a dynamic with 5+ people. I feel I am open to multiple people and that I would like to express myself lovingly to many people but I do not think I could emotionally be there for more than 2-3 other people. I feel that I believe in loving everyone around you. I think I would prefer a relationship with 3 people who are all emotionally and sexually engaged with one another. I feel (although I understand this would be my partners choice) that a "V" dynamic would be uncomfortable where one person is the center of the others affections. I am not really looking for sex with others to satisfy any need, but instead I am more interested in the emotional connection with others. I just don't view sex as a taboo one way or the other. If I am emotionally attached to someone I am probably sexually attracted to them.
Thank you for reading my long introduction, and I appreciate any feedback you can offer me.