Hi there. I don't have much time to read what has been said so fa. Sorry if this is a repeat, but you ask how to do this poly style and something stuck out for me; that is that there is far too much assuming and expecting going on. She assumed this, you expected that... In my experience that just doesn't work in any relationships; no matter how long the people have known each other, poly or otherwise.
I would suggest getting about asking a lot of questions about what is going on for people; clarify, ask what they think, what their intention is, what you can do to help, how things might work better. At the same time give information about your feelings, what you think might be going on before checking to see if that is the case. By doing this there is no need to feel as if you are left out of the loop, that you haven't been heard or that your needs and theirs haven't been met. I would think that any feelings of being left out and change occuring to cause distance would end. I would think you would always feel included, considered and informed of everything. In this way, I would think you would have a sense of belonging rather than being on the out side of their life.
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