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Old 07-15-2011, 08:44 PM
Minxxa Minxxa is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: California
Posts: 497
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So things are going okay. I still have physical feelings of anxiety about 80% of my day, but it's to a little lesser degree I guess? Since hubs and his GF are pretty much spending all of their time together right now, I guess this is the opportunity to just get thrown into it and accept it and let it go. In that regard I'm trying to keep myself busy, mostly with fun stuff, but also with some good stress reduction stuff like Yoga, and keeping up with my schoolwork, so I don't stress on school.

Tonight is girls' night for Pride, and tomorrow's the festival, so that should be fun, but TIRING, LOL. I haven't really slept well in a few weeks, so I'm starting to feel it a bit more. The plan is to come home at a reasonable hour on Saturday (Margaret Cho is performing, so after that I'll go home), and get some rest and sleep in on Sunday. I don't have any plans for sunday except to do yoga at 6:30, so my goal is to do laundry, lay around and recharge, hang with the boychild and relax for the week.

On another front, one of the guys that I met through OKCupid called yesterday to see if I could go out for drinks. I had school, though, but we're going to try to meet up this week or weekend. And I started a conversation with another guy who seems really nice and seems to have a good sense of humor so we'll see how that goes.

For now I just keep breathing, just keep moving, keep doing things. I'm waiting for the time when I just can BE without thinking all of the time. I told hubs yesterday I felt a little like I was losing him, or he was losing me or something was being lost. I do feel like that, but maybe that loss is the enmeshed attachment I've had with him. Maybe that's what it feels like when you pull yourself out of someone else and back into your own body. Maybe that's the painful piece of becoming whole again on your own. So maybe it's not a bad thing. Just hurts a bit.

Like everything else, I wish it would happen faster.
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