Originally Posted by idrider47
Then finally, this has brought out marital problems that I didn't know we had. It is a discovery for me that RBR didn't think I would want to do this activity. She apparently doesn't know me the way she thinks she does and was 100% wrong on that, which has me feeling like I'm being marginalized or compartmentalized, with all the new and exciting activities going to E.
Believe me, it's more of a marital problem if you do not continually find and discover new things about each other! Keeping a relationship fresh and alive is key, and not giving in to seeing a partner the same old way every day is what makes that possible. I wrote this on your other thread:
And as far as still discovering things about each other after so many years together -- halleluiah! Relationships where this doesn't happen are stagnant, boring, and predictable. It's always a good thing when we can look at someone we've loved and known a long time and see them anew, because that means we are present, living in the here and now, and seeing past old beliefs.
Thank goodness she didn't know this about you! I suggest that you guys are in a great place if this is happening. You are rising out of preconceived expectations and seeing each other as people in the present, not ideas of who you are to each other.