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Old 07-15-2011, 04:56 PM
idrider47 idrider47 is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2011
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Hello NYCindie
Yeah, I think we thought that we did that. I'm understanding the problem better and better as we go through this morning. I think there are three issues.

The first is that we decided that evenings and weekends were reserved for Rider and RBR. RBR and E can see each other during the work day when Rider is at work, so that seemed fair. But we did put a clause in there that there could be special times that are negotiated in advance to accommodate something RBR and E wanted to do that would normally be Rider/RBR time. The very first thing that happened after negotiating the agreement was to exercise the exception clause and go for a weekend night. That was a bit of a push, but I thought it would be ok, just from a time perspective.

Then, looking at the event itself, it turns out to be an event that I want to do. So I am struggling with how to view that and feel about that. Thus far, RBR and E have only done things that were on her list of things that I had trouble doing with her.

Then finally, this has brought out marital problems that I didn't know we had. It is a discovery for me that RBR didn't think I would want to do this activity. She apparently doesn't know me the way she thinks she does and was 100% wrong on that, which has me feeling like I'm being marginalized or compartmentalized, with all the new and exciting activities going to E.
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IDRider47
married, heterosexual male currently in an a newly opened relationship; married to RunBabyRun
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