Thank you GS. I've been reading through a lot on this board lately, in preparation to talk with my hubby and get myself prepared and a plan of action in place for me to deal with my insecurities and issues.
We talked last night. It was a GREAT talk!! I explained everything to him, we talked through my issues, his issues, etc. I told him basically the same thing, that I know I've been weighing him down with my jealousy and it's time for me to let it go and let him be who he is. That I know he loves me, but that he's also capable of loving someone else and still loving me as well. And, I'm okay with that, even excited about it.
We talked about "finding" that special significant other for him. We both agreed on who we would like to talk to. It's our good friend A, who yes, they did have an affair last year, but I wasn't open to him being poly then. I didn't even really know it was an option. So, I had fought them, and he gave her up for me. It's been tearing them both up, because they really do love one another. She completes a part of him that I can't and I complete a part of him that she can't. When he had us both last year, before I found out and ruined it, he was the happiest I had seen him in a long time. So, we will be talking to A. I will be the one to break the ice on that subject, so that she knows where everything stands. She and I have been rebuilding our friendship (I love her like a sister!!) for a few months now. I am actually EXTREMELY excited to talk to her. Even when they had their affair, she would always tell my hubby, "This can't ruin your marriage. You love your wife too much, she loves you too much, and I love you both too much." Oh, if I had only been wiser then!! I really can't wait to bring A in as a partner in the ultimate goal of happiness and love. I miss her and her kids so badly!!
Married 12 1/2 years. Female. Straight. New to poly.