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Old 07-14-2011, 08:07 PM
Minxxa Minxxa is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: California
Posts: 495

LOL, yes counseling will indeed be on the menu after his return.

So, I did decide you were right, and I do need to talk to him, so I did bring it up... in text, LOL... because we won't get a chance to talk in person until Monday and I thought I should at least start the thought process about how we can touch base more often and why I need it.

Long story, short... hubs is completely stressed out right now with life in general. Work for various reasons, and then the GF, me, and apparently his daughter and mom are both making some kind of demands or having issues, I'm not sure which we didn't get into it. So basically all of the distance, and not communicating as much and feeling disconnected was because he is on the brink of losing it and was pulling back and retreating for his own personal sanity. He's feeling like he can't make anyone happy, let alone anyone, and he's not happy and doesn't know what to do about that. :-/

Of course it all comes back to communication-- had I KNOWN that, I would have seen where the feelings I have are coming from, I would have understood that it has not much to do with me and I could have more productively gotten some more fun good communication here and there and understood the times he needs to himself.

Basically four little sentences in text and I had the info I needed. We didn't get a chance to talk about the communication part because he had a work situation he had to deal with, but I will at some point talk to him about it. He tends to keep his feelings inside and "deal" with them, and think he doesn't want to spill it on everyone else, but like everybody else who does that the spillage occurs anyway and it's usually not pretty. Like most things, changing this will take time and hopefully someone else to talk with about handling stress and emotions more productively. AND seeing me as a partner to help him through hard times and stress, instead of feeling he'd be dumping it on me, or keeping it from me until I end up becoming part of the problem.

Anyway, I feel better, he probably doesn't though. But at least I now have enough information so that I can move forward and chill out a little bit and come back down to earth. Hopefully we'll have a nice Skype chat on Monday.
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