What NYCindie said!
If you do start seeing a councelor together, you will very likely discover that there are some deep seated resentments (for both of you), that go back many, many years. I have had to learn an entire new way to communicate with my husband and we've been married 20 years. Frankly it pisses me off that we didn't get help sooner.
Go in with an open mind and no expectations. Tell the councelor where you are at and let your wife do the same, then let the councelor do his/her job. I had divorce paperwork filled out and ready to file the day I made the appointment with the councelor and I told her as much at our first appointment.