As much as I hate to say it, I have just written my plan for separation which I plan to share with her whenever she decides to come home from playing with T. I cannot sit around and wait for her to figure out if I can make her happy. Her own counselor said it is up to her to define her happiness. So she is spending the entire day with T instead of me searching for happiness while I sit here wondering. I can't wonder every day if I am on the good or the bad side of her happiness meter. It is killing me. So I am going to lay down new rules that say:
1. The objective is to take a few months to let her figure out what she wants to do to be happy without me constantly in the way.
2. I will still live home. The kids will know nothing. But we are not operating as a couple any longer. This means she does not have to answer to me nor I to her.
3. We will not have sex. She can do what she wants and I will do what I want.
4. Again, the kids will know nothing,
5. We will assess progress at some point and determine if we extend the separation, eliminate the separation or just divorce.
Thanks again to all who have tried to help. I just dont think I can live this way. It hurts too much, its affecting my health, and its affecting the ability for me to focus on my job.