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Old 07-14-2011, 06:42 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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It is starting to look like my most successful (relatively) relationships since my separation have been with people I met in the real world, and not online. However, I have met some really cool people online, and gained some good friends/lovers/FWBs from OKC. I am incredibly picky about who I actually meet from there, though, and in the time since I joined -- which is now eight months -- I've only actually met six guys in person, although I've talked, chatted, and emailed with many more than that, and have one guy who is kind of an online friend and I'm not sure if I'll ever actually meet him face to face (though I'd like to!).

I think the dating sites can work if we go into the situation looking at it as an adventure. And we should look at dating in general that way, too, anyway. In other words, let go of expectations that you want to find long-lasting love there, but do embrace the possibility of meeting new and interesting people, and having a good time going out. Take a break for a few days every now and then, and come back to the site(s) fresh. View the dating process as the best part, the fun part, the opportunity to see more of what kind of people are out there, a chance to have fun conversation at the very least. If it develops into more, that's a bonus! It is true that there are lots of dullards, sad sacks, losers, and completely incompatible people out there, and it does get incredibly frustrating sometimes, but hopefully you can screen before meeting. If it doesn't work out, try to see what you gained from it and chalk it off as another learning experience. Then get in the game again, and don't sweat it too much.
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An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-im-not-a-secondary-partner-the-short-version/

Last edited by nycindie; 07-15-2011 at 12:18 AM.
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