Originally Posted by PLove
I think that the point Hades was trying to make is not WHERE we meet people, but the intentionality of it.
In our experience, when you are saying "OH--I want to meet someone," it has rarely worked out that we meet a person with whom we really connect. It's only when we are just living our lives and doing our thing that we've tended to somehow stumble across the person with whom we feel a connection.
So what Hades is getting at is if you are intentionally seeking a partner does that tend to work out or is it more something that happens?
Then in case I didn't answer that - When I was younger I wasn't ever actively seeking to meet a person, and it was always stumbling across them. It would be nice if chance encounters happened now, but they don't seem to for me.
During both the periods I have been actively poly, I have been intentionally open to finding relationships, and more strongly actively seeking friends (which has to be intentional, as I have no luck stumbling into good friendships either). I have not found either of these things anywhere but OKCupid, or a party/event attended by mainly poly people where I expected there might be a chance to meet somebody interesting.