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Old 07-14-2011, 01:42 PM
GroundedSpirit GroundedSpirit is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: New England USA
Posts: 1,231

Originally Posted by openbj View Post
So, what do you all recommend?? What can he do to help me still know that I'm number 1 (we've been married almost 13 years) and what can I do to be content in that fact and not lose my mind? I know he loves me. I have no doubts about that. I just worry that he'll leave me anyways. To be honest, I don't have a good self image. Yes, I have a hot, sexy body. But, I had an accident several years ago that disfigured part of my face and I suffer from chronic pain as a result. So, I really worry that he'll find somebody else to be the complete pain free, beautiful package that compliments him better than me (he's hot too!!).
Well OpenBJ, here's what I recommend..........

First - give up the whole "#1" thing ! Relationships, love, etc are NOT about competition. This is not all about building/living in some hierarchy. So that's the first thing you need to dispense with. Once that is gone, a lot of other things will fall into place naturally.
There are things/areas where you will come 'first' - and there are things where you WON'T ! And likely will be thankful not to.

We often say other people can fill in desirable gaps in our lives/interests but it's just as true that other people can take a load OFF our back by giving our loved ones space to engage in things we have absolutely NO interest in !

I can also say this, and I think I can get plenty of backup on it..........

As much as any of us enjoys a pretty face, a hard body, whatever - we are not about to walk away from someone we care about that offers many other qualities we respect, admire & love. It's all part of a bigger picture. Just make sure you don't slop black paint all over a picture he's come to love.........

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