It will be a hard road whichever option you take but I do agree with Magdlyn that there is often a rollercoaster ride at the beginning of something like this. It is helpful for you to remember the love that you were feeling just a few days ago.
I'm not perhaps the right person to advise on getting through. I didn't do a good job of it. I went into self-preservation mode and if I could do it all again I would do things very differently. All I can suggest is that you try very hard to love yourself and your children. Be as kind and loving to your wife as you can and find another outlet for all your pain. You may need some anti-depressants to get through.
The pattern you and your wife have is not pleasant. You both have done what you think will make everyone happy and you end up making yourselves miserable. If you act too quickly you run the risk of forcing each other's hand. My husband thought I would take him back if he made things as difficult financially for me as possible. That just strengthened my belief that he was a controlling bastard and I moved in with someone else. If instead of doing that he'd told me how much he still loved me (he admitted this later) and had just given me some space we might still be together.