I get what you are saying and agree to some extent. But where the difference comes in I feel is how you approach it and how you feel.
I think there's a distinct difference between being on a 'quest' (seeking) and just putting yourself in a position where the universe can respond appropriately. If that makes any sense.
I do believe you can distort things via your intention and that's why so many people who are searching (desperate) discover they are wasting tremendous amounts of time and energy to no avail. I don't have a technical explanation for this - or if I did it would sound 'out-there' - but it's a definite observation of my own, my mates, and thousands of other people including many on this board.
On the other hand, deciding you want others in your life and making a step or two to put yourself in a noticeable place I feel is quite different. It's really all in how you attach to it internally and act on it. As others have mentioned, in this age of the 'net', putting yourself on some site is little different than taking a walk on the beach, going to a park, dance etc. It's all about how much it consumes you.
My thoughts anyway.........