I won't start with my dreams, I have plenty of them and one is more reassuring and colorful than the other. No, after this weekend I was surprised to hear about Swards dreams of a possible future for Lin, me and himself.
While I was still at Lin's place, he asked for a date for the third meeting. We agreed that it would be best for Lin to visit us at home for a longer period of time than just 4 days. He is able to do so, because he just got his fortnightly check and infusion in the hospital and no other liabilities. Lin and I need to work through the last bits of our project that becomes due at the end of August. We haven't been able to do so because of all the stress and worries or to put it more simple: all the other relationship related things that were on our minds. Fortunately we were beyond the difficult parts before this mess started in April.
So, as it looks like now, Lin will visit us, we will see how living all three together feels like on a physical basis. We kind of already live together theoretically, because Lin is always present as soon as the PC is switched on. As Sward sees it, he wants to keep the sleeping arrangements as 'fair' as possible, meaning he and Lin will sleep on the couch or in the bed with me in turns. I have absolutely no idea how I will feel in this kind of situation, but I think I will be nervous as always and it will be a bit awkward in the beginning. We do not have much space, this visit will be an endurance test for all of us. If we are able to stick this out I do not have much worries left for the future.
Swards wants to establish a 'physical' relationship with Lin. No they are both straight, but he tends to hug and cuddle the people he really likes. Some kind of bear-hug-thing mostly
Talking about bear hugs, did I mention that they got monikers for each other? Sward's is Daddy Bear and Lin's is Snuffles/Snookums – hard to translate actually. They go like: “Hey Snuffles. - Yes, Daddy Bear, what's up? - Oh dear, you look like a Monchichi today, what did you do to your hair?!” while Lin and I were chatting via video-chat over Skype. They are the only ones allowed to use them for each other, every time I start to call them this I get the “This is for us exclusively!” So sweet. *grins* And to ensure that Sward and Lin are able to maintain this level of comfort with each other, those two need to meet in person again. This will be first time they meet since we had seen each other for New Year's Eve in 2008.
And Sward seems to be so pumped up with energy after the weekend. He told me, that he thought about what he would like to do in the next years; that he would like to explore a new field of work (mainly get his truck driver's license), that he always wanted to learn an instrument and play with me (I played piano, saxophone and guitar for years when I was still in my teens but had to stop because of money issues) and that he thought about the house and the garden we are going to build (all three) together. Such explicit ideas about what should be like this and this should look like that and so on. And how great it will be if we are going to have big family get-togethers at our place. Lin and Sward started to plan a house for the three of us already and showed me what they had been able to prepare and construct with the construction tool from The Sims. Sweet idea
I just love him so much; I would love to have this dreams come true. He seems to have adjusted his “together forever, travel the world, build a house, have children, grow old together” - just-you-and-me dream to a three-way-concept within weeks. Without me saying “Dear, I would like to have this and that … Please look into it if it is possible.” It never occurred to me that he was already THIS ok with Lin in my, or better, in our life.