I would slow it down a bit at this point.... you seem to be barreling though getting right to the fucking and not taking a breath and looking around to see how everyone is doing. Rome was not built in a day and poly needs a foundation of respectful boundaries, controlled NRE, honest communication with yourself first and then others and tons of consideration.... asking all the questions you do about why, why, why, just sounds whiney and selfish. You might want to check that out with yourself and see if you can be a bit more considerate to the man who is struggling to be okay with this.... it isn't him in the new relationship full of NRE, its you. Watching that and experiencing that can be torturous for a partner. Respect that and be considerate of his pace and feelings.
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