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Old 07-14-2011, 03:47 AM
Makkablue Makkablue is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Tri-state reigon, northwest USA
Posts: 2
Default Part 2

Despite my outburst, I insisted she go and get laid anyway. I said that, "it is not right of me to ruin what you have simply because I have a hang-up about us or something deeper."

She went. I cleaned. She came back, I was still upset in general. We talked all the way to the shore and it was good.

However, I began to become increasingly depressed. Everything became negative and I even looked at Annia with negative thoughts in my head. I brooded the entire weekend and in the end, though much talk and patience on Annia's part, I found my issues.

It was two fold. One, I was raised strict Jehovah's Witness by my Mother. I never got to participate in anything much and socialization was restricted. Going into adulthood, my inexperience developed into a growing awkwardness and low confidence in anything taboo.
I managed to convince myself I was ok with things when really, I was confused and loathing of my inability to catch up with my peers in relationships and in the bedroom.

So, given that, an open/poly relationship . . one where it is all consensual and there is few if any fingers to point at anyone for how you feel about something, I was lost.
Annia recommended a therapist to work though the parts she could not help with. Otherwise she listened to me and made very good attempts at being more tactful with her interactions. She put a pause to the booty calls and focused on us for a time.

End part 2
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