Despite my outburst, I insisted she go and get laid anyway. I said that, "it is not right of me to ruin what you have simply because I have a hang-up about us or something deeper."
She went. I cleaned. She came back, I was still upset in general. We talked all the way to the shore and it was good.
However, I began to become increasingly depressed. Everything became negative and I even looked at Annia with negative thoughts in my head. I brooded the entire weekend and in the end, though much talk and patience on Annia's part, I found my issues.
It was two fold. One, I was raised strict Jehovah's Witness by my Mother. I never got to participate in anything much and socialization was restricted. Going into adulthood, my inexperience developed into a growing awkwardness and low confidence in anything taboo.
I managed to convince myself I was ok with things when really, I was confused and loathing of my inability to catch up with my peers in relationships and in the bedroom.
So, given that, an open/poly relationship . . one where it is all consensual and there is few if any fingers to point at anyone for how you feel about something, I was lost.
Annia recommended a therapist to work though the parts she could not help with. Otherwise she listened to me and made very good attempts at being more tactful with her interactions. She put a pause to the booty calls and focused on us for a time.
End part 2