Intentional vs. Natural Connection
I keep feeling like, for my wife and I to go looking for other poly people to connect to, is somehow disingenuous. I mean, for both of us, all of our romantic connections have always started from the most accidental and NON romantic situations with people that we usually had no real interest in at the beginning. Isn't going on a website like Polymatchmaker or trolling for other poly people sort of like a guy or girl deciding they want an intimate connection with someone and going to a local bar? I've always been a believer in the idea that you will NOT meet Mr or Mrs Right in a bar or night club, but in a bookstore while you're both reaching for the same beloved novel, or in a laundromat as you're both fighting over who needs the last available dryer more, or just after you both smashed into each others cars at a busy intersection. Love has always happened by accident for me (at least accidental in that I was not aware, at the time, of all the synchronous occurrences that made it possible) and, I think, for most people.
I mean, are me and PLove really going to find people on OKC, or at The Pleasure Garden, or on Poly Meet-Up, who we can really build a healthy, long term relationship with? Is that doing it wrong? I mean, is being intentional about trying to find other people to connect to put too much pressure and expectation on the entire situation? But, then, how else to poly people looking for other poly people find each other, connect, and build tribes?