so much for yesterday's optimism. Today she is frustrated with my wanting to talk about how we are going to make this work. She is overwhelmed by everything. The kids. This relationship issue. My job. My constant need for information about where this is going.
I am going to start my research now on separations. I think this is the most likely outcome. As open as I am to the poly relationship, I think her issues are deeper rooted. I dont think the poly is even the issue. The issue is her resentment of the fact that she has to take care of the kids and never gets a break. So in her mind, being divorced is actually not a bad idea since it means I get the kids on the weekends and she is free.
What the fuck am I supposed to do with that kind of thinking?
Am I supposed to sit back quietly while she figures out my future? I am taking some big risks here and I think I deserve some continuous communication about this. Fuck it. I think this is a case where love will die becuase of her unwilliningness to work through what she wants. I thank you all for your support and thoughts. It was worth a shot, but this one is a lost cause.
On a positive note, I will get the chance to eventually love again and hopefully it will be someone who understands my life situation and is willing to work at the relationship.
Life sucks ass today.