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Old 07-13-2011, 08:39 PM
TruckerPete TruckerPete is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 999

Originally Posted by dani11 View Post
The reason not to ask the best friend would be, I know how he feels about it. If she says she is fine with it, he would take it at face value, just because it is what he wants. He has always been a pretty impulsive person, and somewhat self-destructive in the relationship department.

My Hubby said to wait a couple of days until he is off-then hubby will go and talk to her alone. He is fairly good at reading people (for the most part) He also does not settle for 'Fine'.
These things will go much smoother if you can also learn to communicate directly with the person you need to talk to. Think about it right now ... your husband is going to talk to his best friend's wife about you getting involved with her husband ... That's getting to be a messy game of telephone!

I know that if someone who wanted to be with one of my partners sent their partner over to talk to me, I'd wonder why they weren't doing their own dirty work, as it were. I would certainly feel less inclined to trust them, because they have now shown an unwillingness or inability to communicate directly with me. (Remember, she doesn't know your motivations for having hubby talk to her.)

Half of poly is multiple ethical romantic relationships. The other half is really awkward conversations.
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