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Old 07-13-2011, 07:36 PM
idrider47 idrider47 is offline
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 24

Today is the darkest day by far. Another sleepless night, another emotional meltdown.

RBR suggested that I read FreeTime's thread as a way of gaining perspective. She wants me to just gut through this.

As she posted on her other post, I am so consumed by this at this moment that I couldn't even focus on work today and came home early. I didn't come home to work on the problem directly with her exactly, but I did come home to read and try to figure out a way to at the very least survive this. It seems like we've talked this to death, and we often reach impasses where I want to slow down (or better yet, stop!) and that makes her feel controlled.

One of the comments posted to RBR's post struck the very center of the target, so much so that I had to send them a message thanking them. They have been private messaging with me, trying to help me get through today without doing something stupid to make things worse.

I'm spending the day reading through FreeTime's thread (I think it's something like 30 pages long) to see if I can gain perspective. I think RBR's thought is that I should see that it gets better for others, therefore it will get better for me. I don't know that, and I'm not sure why I should sign up for continuing this at this point. The only thing I can come up with is that RBR is important to me, in spite of all that is happening now.
married, heterosexual male currently in an a newly opened relationship; married to RunBabyRun
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