I am in riders position
Hi. Not sure I can help but I can give you perspective. My wife is in a new relationship with T. The three of us have had sex together and it was great. They had sex alone several times and have now fallen in love. We have been married 19 years and she now wants both of us. I asked ifnshe would leave him and she said no. So the only way I can keep the love of my life is accept that I have to share her. I feel resentment at times and fear at others. I am freaking out often. In fact I had tong onto doctor today because of anxiety and my blood pressure was 180 over 100! So my advice is ton give rider time and support to process all of this. I am dying that my wife isn't hugging me, talking to me, etc all day long. Because right now I am vulnerable and scared and reassurance is so important. So I know it sucks that you have tomchange your plans. But it's a short term thing. The transition is hard and you need to take it at a pace that rider cam handle. Because the level of excitement you have relative to the NRE is the same level of fear he has a out this whole thing(at least for me that's true). And I do want this to work because it makes her happy. But wanting isn't enough. The pain is real. So please recognize that and give rider more love and attention than ever. It's the only way he will possibly arrive at the point of acceptance. At least that's my feelings right now.