Thank you so much for all your encouragement. I try to remember that I live this life and it took me a while to get my head around it as well.
Redpepper, I hope your family comes around to at least not causing the three of you to doubt yourselves soon. It was an advantage that all my family lives out of state except one sister. We live in the same small town as Gator's family but I can never see us telling them. If they ask, of course we will not lie. They do know them as our friends. And I think they suspect because they have asked that we not bring them to family events any more. Not usually something we even have the opportunity to do any way but it means we miss some of the family get togethers that we would otherwise try to go to. And I can't say we are treated differently than Gator's gay brother. They do not want any partner he has to come to them either. He, however, doesn't live here and isn't expected at as many events as we are.
Tech and Kitten are such big parts of our lives in feelings, if not appearance due to distance, that we just do not like (and are not comfortable with) hiding what they are to us.
One step at a time is all I can say.