Can we eradicate jealousy from our unconscious?
My nickname is Chris, I am not a native English speaker therefore I immediately apologise for the possible mistakes you may be finding as you read. I have been in a homosexual monogamous relationship for 3 years. I and my partner are really open-minded, we do not believe in marriage and in monogamy but, despite this, we currently do not have any real intention of practicing poliamory. He is 9 years older than me, so he has experienced sex much more than I did. For this reason he happens to talk to me about the fact that we sometimes should think about and analise what makes us so "monogamous". We claim to be open-minded and free from social schemes but we have never had one night stands or occasional sex. The problem now is that even though I do not believe in monogamy I still cannot get rid of the cultural heritage of the catholic society I come from and, even though I try not to show it, I am a very jealous boyfriend. He always says: "if we were not so hypochondriac and unsociable we would have experienced occasional sex. Because I happened to be willing to try.".
I denied to be interested in one night stands and the image of him being even only attracted by other men disturbs me deeply. I am generally a very insicure person. I try to fight this feeling through rational thinking but a deep and unconscious jealousy overtakes me and obsesses my dreams. I had lots of nightmares on this issue. I know I should probably see a psychologist but I think that here I could find people who can understand the reason why I want to fight against my unconsciuos, deep jealousy better and will not only tell me: "a little bit of jealousy is just normal! Do not worry about it!" And I also do not want to prevent me from experiencing my sexual life differently because of this feeling. I do not want to live the lie of "I love you only and I feel not attracted by anyone else".