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Old 10-16-2009, 01:27 PM
LadyMacbeth LadyMacbeth is offline
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Oregon
Posts: 29

My husband Macbeth and I have been in the poly way for only a couple of months. My boyfriend is mono, and shares many of your feelings. Macbeth and I have been working on our own insecurity issues in our primary relationship that have emerged, as expected, in our poly adventures. Reading The Ethical Slut was really helpful for me as it reminded me that while the feelings of my primary are important, the feelings of my boyfriend are too and I spent some time recently asking him what would help him feel secure, safe, and cared for. This was extremely helpful. Telling her what would help you feel loved, secure, and important would be helpful. If making your needs explicit is difficult, then I echo the concept that counseling/therapy would be helpful. I am a psychologist, and can say that if you go to anyone who knows what he/she is doing, the shrink will know how to help you feel comfortable talking. I would also recommend going to someone who is explicitly poly friendly and therefore would understand the issues you present.
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