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Old 10-16-2009, 12:18 PM
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ramfish ramfish is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 47
Default advice? people who aren't poly/general population anxieties

I've started talking about my new relationship on the other forum, but I do need a little advice. I would consider myself new to polyamory since we've only been involved with one other person thus far and it's been less than a year.

Currently I'm trying to take things day by day, but I can't help thinking thinking thinking alllllll the time. It's just the kind of person I am. Mostly I worry about being a social outcast, which would be particularly hard on me since I'm trying to make new friends in the area. However, I just don't want to step back and say no to J-kun. Anyway, here are my two primary concerns right now:

First, I know that he's familiar with the concept of open relationships but I'm not sure that he's familiar with the concept of polyamory. I'm not sure how to explain this to him or bring it up. I want to be low pressure, but I also want to maintain communication and be certain that he's aware of what he's getting into.

Second, I'm concerned about the 'other people'. Friends and acquaintances both of us know at college. It's not as much of a concern for my husband and my friends, because most of them know we are poly...and they live in different areas. How do you guys handle these things? Subtext can be fun but sometimes I'm wish I didn't have to watch my movements for fear of looking like the 'town bicycle' as it were...because I'm married.

Anyway, thanks guys for this place to share. <3
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