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Old 07-12-2011, 07:45 PM
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sagency sagency is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: U.S. Pacific Northwest
Posts: 133

It's a good sign you're keeping the communication going.

As for her reaction that she's feels she's defending her feelings, that an understandable reaction. One simple technique you might try is telling her how you have derived benefit from sharing your worries with helpful, concerned people. Rather than "you need to..." it's "this worked for me."

Another idea that I've found helpful ("this worked for me" ) is the concept that the person who has a clearer vision of the communication styles involved should adjust his or her style to account for the other. In other words, if you have a better understanding of something and are aware of that fact, it's on you not to wait for the other person to catch up but to slow down and reach out to that person in a way that is helpful to him or her according to what suits them. In your case, if you see things that could help Q with her struggles, you would want to find ways to frame that help in terms that Q can understand and accept. (Often people offer help but on their own terms rather than the recipient's terms.)

Best of luck to the both of you. *hug*
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