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Old 07-12-2011, 07:24 PM
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Carma Carma is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Ohio
Posts: 478

Hi RC! Welcome

My husband, Sundance has shared some of your concerns. It has gotten easier over time, as the NRE settled into something that is now in perspective for me. I have been able to explore my feelings for my BF, and over time it has changed quite a bit. The love I have for him is more comfortable now, with the element of "forbidden fruit" taken out. One thing for me has been the realization that what I really needed was to get to know my BF better, because there were things I needed to learn from him. He has helped me fill in some of the void I had from having an absent father. I have always craved male intimacy (especially emotional) but I couldn't rely on my husband for that solely -- or it would become more of a father-daughter relationship. Having two men to play out some of my issues has taken the pressure off of both relationships and I feel like I am really, finally growing up -- at age 43, it's about time, right?!

Starting this whole thing last October, I had no idea where it would lead but I trusted that with the honesty it required, whatever came of it would be something good.

Love has lots of dimensions. I've found that exploring them isn't as dangerous as I used to think.

I hope you find poly to be as rewarding as I have -- even with its challenges, it's better than giving up on love. Glad you're here.
Formerly married to Sundance
Boyfriend -- Butch Cassidy
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