i am fascinated by this piece of your post " I can then intervene, if I catch myself at this silly making-myself-unhappy game"
that's exactly what i am trying to figure out how to do. because i, not my relationship, am making me unhappy. it's the internal self talk that is driving me nuts...that whispers in my ear "you don't deserve to be happy, loved, cherished, so of course you never will be" - it's driving me nuts. i'm trying to learn mindfulness because i believe so much in self manifestation.