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Originally Posted by PipersGirl
I'm a straight mono female involved with a straight poly male, D. He has 2 other straight mono female partner, Ki and Ka. We've all been with him at least three years and are all over 40; none of us live with him. We're a closed group.
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Having three mono partners sounds A LOT. I mean, one mono/polyship is hard enough to juggle, but with a busy workload and three women who each rely solely on him for their romantic and sexual needs - is D really up for the job?
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Originally Posted by PipersGirl
We all got along, but Ki and Ka developed a deeper friendship. They are a lot alike personality wise - very talkative and extroverted; I'm quieter and introverted.
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This might be one of the reasons why you are the target of jealousy.
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Originally Posted by PipersGirl
D has always spent less time with Ki than he does with me or Ka. This was also true before either one of us were with D. I guess really "seeing" it triggered her. While he was still in the hospital, she started requesting more time with D.
Because of the friendship that had developed, Ka took it upon herself to speak up for Ki. This went on for a couple of weeks with no resolution and finally D suggested that they form a threesome. He really doesn't want very much alone time with Ki - it has always been that way. He told me about this, but said that he didn't think it would come to pass.
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So the threesome was formed because of Ki wanted more time with D and he wasn't interested?
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Originally Posted by PipersGirl
He did the very thing he said he wasn't going to do.
During this time, he was spending lots of time and having lots of sex with the newly formed threesome. So I developed resentment toward the threesome because on top of the sense of betrayal, there was a feeling of abandonment, being replaced and that no one cared about me or my pain.
To this day, I still don't understand why he told me things would progress slowly and not include penetration.
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So he broke boundaries he had set upon himself, and had fullblown NRE with Ki and Ka which alienated you for a while. After that abated, you slowly got back together. Does he comprehend in any way why you felt so upset? Have you asked him why he felt there needed to be the boundaries in the first place?
__________________
"Resentment destroys more alcoholics than anything else. From it stems the root of our spiritual disease."
"In dealing with resentments, we set them on paper - list people, institutions and principles with whom you are angry. Ask yourself why you are angry."
"In most cases it was found out that our self-esteem, our pocketbooks, our ambitions, our personal relationships, including sex, were hurt or threatened. We were sore, burnt-up." Alcoholics Anonymous, 64-65.
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