@NYCI everything you posted had validity with me. Thank you. I like the exercise. The quoted bits below I truly appreciate.
So, I know an exercise, or really a game you can play with yourself, that helps one start to see more clearly what's going on inside. When we're annoyed, we're usually grumbling or complaining about something or someone to ourselves, right? So, every time you have a thought or make a statement about what's annoying you -- basically a complaint -- add to the end of your sentence these words: "and this is what I want." Do that for one or two days and you will see that being annoyed, feeling offended, being irritated, is a state of mind we put ourselves in. Even complaining is a choice (oh, how often in just one day we can indulge in complaining!) -- some people do that exercise and realize that their life is really just great, but that they just love to complain. Many of us have been ingrained with a pattern of complaining about things because we just can't let ourselves experience life as something that is really as fucking awesome as it actually is.
So, I'm not making any calls about what's going on with you, but it could be a very enlightening exercise to do. It's been useful to me when I feel like things are out of my control, because it makes me realize that my happiness and peace of mind are up to me.
Now, the major result is that it brings self-awareness -- and with seeing your own reactions to things more clearly, you also see other people's behaviors more clearly. So when one starts to see one's own patterns of reactions better (because getting annoyed can really be just a habit), we can clear away the confusion over another's behaviors. You might start to see that what they're doing is perfectly fine, or you might see that they have actually been trying to bug you
@ Ray Stuck in a rut of bias and preconceived notions is where I have been lately. Some justified, some maybe not so much, but either way it impacts my attitude. Good point about empathy.
@BD I have lots of local gf's and this is what has been a puzzle to me with KT. Our relationship has been so difficult to sustain. I have really struggled with building a friendship which I have never experienced before KT. So I need to find out where I am failing. I am committed to moving forward. Trying to figure out why I am so easily put off by the smallest of annoyances- it has me in a quandary. I am usually able to blow things off. I am direct but really kind of laidback. I smile and laugh alot...but lately it has gotten really hard for me to turn the other cheek or even think the best of any misunderstanding. Working on it. And determined to make it better. Thanks!