Thread: Help me please.
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Old 07-11-2011, 05:04 AM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,723

This woman feels "uncomfortable." That is understandable and normal and okay! She will live. Everyone is going to live through this... especially if everyone decides together that they are going to walk through their fear, embrace the feelings that make them feel uncomfortable and get about dealing with them rather than avoiding them. Avoiding doesn't make them go away, it makes the situation go away and that can lead to resentment, blame, hurt, pain and can break up relationships or at the very least make them unhealthy.

Poly is hard for people who don't want to deal with their shit and other peoples shit. Maybe this other woman is that kind of person. Maybe this is just not going to work for her and she has decided that. Its too bad, because it puts your gf in an awkward situation of having to decide.... that is not your problem, or for you to take on as your problem. You just need to be yourself and carry on reaching out to her. You never know, she might eventually decide that its too hard NOT to meet you because of all the insisting going on. Or maybe she has broken up with her for real (sorry, I'm not really entirely buying this break up thing... it seems like a last ditch effort to make her partner decide who its going to be, you or her), in which case it was never meant to be and she, you and everyone else will move on and be happier for it. Also not because of you. It kinda urks that anyone, especially a gf would put their break up on you over an email! Ya, way to point the finger else where. It sounds like more is going on here than you realize. They just don't seem all that compatible for a poly relationship.
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